


Never Will

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-27
Updated: 2003-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-27 05:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12074127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin's thoughts after he leaves Brian for Ethan.





	Never Will

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

None of this had to happen.  
He could have just said what he had always felt, but he didn't.  
And he never will.  
But I still wake up thinking I'm there.  
In his home, in his bed.  
I wake up expecting to see his face or feel his kiss,  
And I never will.  
Not as long as I'm here.  
And when I wake up here,   
And see Ethan's face and feel Ethan's kiss,  
I don't like to admit it but,  
I'm dissappointed.  
Sometimes I hear Brian's voice behind me.  
Saying words he never said,  
And never will.  
And sometimes I turn around, looking for him,   
waiting for him,   
wanting just to see him again,  
But he's never there.  
I think I should go back to him,  
But I can't.  
He knows that and   
He knows why.  
But I still end up in front of his building,  
Staring at his window,  
And wishing I was on the other side of it,   
But I'm not,  
And I fear I never will be.  
I am constantly asked by Ethan where I am,  
Where I was,  
Why was I late,  
Why didn't I call,  
Was I with him?   
I still haven't answered him.  
It's been almost three months  
And I still don't answer,  
And he still keeps asking.  
How can I answer him?  
How could I explain to him?  
He wouldn't understand.  
No one would understand.  
Well, Brian would.  
Brian understood everything,  
Even when I didn't.  
And I didn't.  
Still don't.  
I don't get why I left,  
Or why I don't go back,  
The only thing I ever understand anymore  
Is that I'll never stop loving him.  
No matter where I wake up,  
Or what I hear,  
I don't ever stop loving him,  
And I never will.


End file.
